We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Randomize
