I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Randomize
