How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
