Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
