My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
