i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
