Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
