four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
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