Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
too bad you live with your parents still
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
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