Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Panties = found
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
