I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
