somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
