I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I am spending my child support on dildos
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
