he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Randomize
