the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Let's paint friendship bongs
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
