What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
