Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
