I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
