ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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