I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
