just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Randomize
