She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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