I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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