We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
