so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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