Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Randomize
