Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
