Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
