why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
