we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
