Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Barsexuality is the new black.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
