he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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