just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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