just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
