I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I party with great urgency now.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
