Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
