You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
