I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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