There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
