I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
