I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
