Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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