I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
