Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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