that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Randomize
