'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Randomize
