how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Randomize
