My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
