Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Randomize
