I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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