I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
