I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Randomize
